The Flying Machine

Conversations Between Famous People as Imagined by Someone With an American Public School Education Who Didn't Pay Too Much Attention in School But Who Did Just Enough to Pass the Exams

NIXON: Hello, I see you're smoking a cigar and wearing a large hat.

CHURCHILL: So I am, young chap. Could I interest you in a cigar?

NIXON: Sure, I think I smoke cigars ... maybe ... I don't know.

(CHURCHILL hands a cigar to NIXON, who bites off the tip and lights it.)

NIXON: We were probably alive at the same time.

CHURCHILL: Indeed, my boy, indeed. I had something to do with World War II and I think maybe you fought in it.

NIXON: I'm not sure if I did.

CHURCHILL: There's not that much more about me that everyone knows.

NIXON: I once held up my hands and formed two peace signs. I was either about to get onto a plane or get off of one.

CHURCHILL: I have seen the photo, because I think there were cameras when I was alive.

NIXON: And what about Watergate? I did that.

CHURCHILL: Margaret Thatcher is someone else from England. She was leader after me.

NIXON: People can buy masks of my face.