Finality
This time spent in Boise has a finality to it. It didn't feel that way last summer. I felt like I wanted to come back here, like I could always come back here.
I am suddenly not so sure. I have some doubts. It's funny how my sense of 'home' is so closely tied not to the geography of a place but to my relationships with the people who inhabit it. And those aren't as good in Boise as they used to be, as I thought they were. It's all so much more fragile than you'd think.
Tonight I'm heading to Ontario for New Year's Eve because J doesn't want to celebrate. It'll be a night at Saddles with E and the Malheur folks. I wish I could have stayed in Florida. Saddles is not what I'd planned, but hopefully it will be fun. E is a good guy. I guess I need to stop putting so much weight on plans.
Tomorrow I will be on the road to the Gorge again. I've got a whole bunch of goals for 08 and thoughts on 07. Hopefully I'll have a little time to put those down between now and the end of the week. I've got some great photos from home, too - bowling, friends, canoeing with Meg...